Self-Soothing Practices for Bereavement
The death of a loved one can feel like an overwhelming tsunami of emotions, leaving us adrift in a sea of sorrow—this is where self-soothing practices for bereavement can gently support you in finding moments of calm and stability.
As a bereaved mother, I discovered that self-soothing practices for bereavement can offer moments of relief amid the storm. This journey is deeply personal, and there’s no one way to grieve. Here are some practices grounded in my experiences, along with others that can help in those immediate, painful moments and as we gradually move forward.
The Immediate Aftermath
On the very first night after my son’s death, I woke up screaming and crying, barely able to breathe.
On the hunt for a box of tissues, I walked past his childhood teddy and grabbed it. Holding it close, I felt a connection to him, as if we were embracing each other. This act of cuddling something so familiar helped me cope with the void left behind. I slept with that teddy in my arms for months.
Embrace Comfort Objects
Whether it’s a beloved toy, a piece of clothing, or a photograph, these items can hold immense power in providing comfort.
Wearing your loved one’s clothes can bring a sense of closeness and connection, even in their absence. I slept in Ben’s PJs, wore his hoodies and wrapped his scarf around me. I’d inhale deeply, searching for that familiar scent.
Create a Memory Bear or Quilt
Having a memory bear made from your loved one’s clothes, or creating a quilt from their favourite fabrics, can serve as both a tactile memory and a heartfelt tribute.
It’s a comforting reminder of shared moments and a source of warmth. Ben’s Jedi dressing gown is now a Jedi bear.
Moving Forward with Healing
As days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, I found it helpful to honour Ben’s memory in more structured ways.
I created a memory box, filled with photos, cards, and mementoes. This not only paid tribute to his life but also served as a therapeutic way for me to express my emotions and remember the joy amid the sorrow.
Journaling
Writing can be a profound outlet for your feelings. Keeping a grief journal where you document your emotions, memories, or messages to your loved one can provide a form of release. It becomes a space to articulate your grief and honour their memory.
Engage with Nature
Nature has an incredible ability to soothe the soul. Consider taking daily walks in the park or on hiking trails, or sitting by a river, and allow yourself to embrace the sights and sounds.
Each visit can serve as a quiet meditation, a moment to reflect on your loved one surrounded by the beauty of life. I was blessed when a friend took me out every week. She held space for me and never tried to fix what cannot be fixed.
Connect through Art
Art can be a transformative form of expression. Whether it’s painting, pottery, or crafting something that reminds you of your loved one, the creative process can be healing. It allows you to channel emotions that might be too difficult to articulate with words. Or, as I did, I drew a picture that represented my grief.
A different form of art led me to have a tattoo of Ben’s salutation taken from the last Mother’s Day card he gave me. It is in a place where I can see it every day and place my lips upon his signature.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Practising mindfulness offers tools to help ground yourself during overwhelming moments. Mindful breathing, guided meditations, or simply focusing on the present can foster a sense of calm and connection to yourself and your feelings.
Seek Community Support
Connecting with others who have experienced similar loss can lessen the burden. Support groups or online communities provide a safe space to share your journey, learn from others, and find solidarity in shared experiences.
Grief is a journey that unfolds differently for everyone. Engaging in self-soothing practices without shame or judgement allows us to honour our loved ones while nurturing our own well-being.
It’s okay to seek comfort in personal mementoes, embrace the memories, and allow us to feel whatever comes up. Moving forward doesn’t mean letting go; it means learning to carry our love in new ways as we navigate life without them.
If you are navigating loss and exploring self-soothing practices for bereavement, and would like support in honouring your loved one in a meaningful and personal way, we are here to help. Whether you’re beginning to think about a ceremony, creating a tribute, or simply need someone who understands, reach out to Legacy Celebrant for a compassionate, no-pressure conversation.